How To Ensure That Honesty Is The Best Policy

by Dr. Rick Kirschner on July 23, 2012

Honesty can be effective no matter what difficult behavior a person engages in, if you tell your truth in a way that builds them up rather than tear them down.

But there’s a context related problem that must be addressed for honesty to be the best policy.

And that involves trust.  The more trust you have with a person, the more likely it is that you will be heard.  That’s why it’s a good idea to prepare the ground before planting the crop and getting a good harvest.  You may want to spend a few weeks building up the trust level by engaging in blending behaviors before you attempt an open and honest conversation.

When the day comes and you’re ready to tell your truth, remember to tell the person you are telling them YOUR truth before you actually tell them your truth. State your positive intent, and why you think it is in their interest to consider what you have to say.  By setting the stage and preparing the relationship for honesty, you give yourself the best chance of making this choice the most effective choice.

I’d love to hear your comments and feedback on this post.  When have you tried honesty as the best approach?  What happened?  How did it work out?

Get my latest book, the third revised edition of Dealing With People You Can’t Stand, by clicking on this link.

Be well,



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