Persuasive Communication Could Make The Difference pt2

by Dr. Rick Kirschner on February 25, 2013

Insider's Guide to the Art of Persuasion MP3 DownloadContinued from previous post…

Now, remember, I could have done something, said something.  But I had no agenda, no proposition in mind.  I’m not a meddler, because as any Star Trek fan knows, NON INTERFERENCE IS THE PRIME DIRECTIVE.  In situations like this one, where nobody is asking for input, one actually has the chance to be an observer of what does and doesn’t work.  Besides, she’d just told the waiter in no uncertain terms that when she wants advice, she’ll ask for it.

Volunteering advice in that moment therefore made no sense.  Instead, I watched, listened and observed as, during the dinner conversation, she starts generalizing out of her dealings with the waiter into telling me about a problem she has at work.  Only now the problem is with her manager, who disrespects her and doesn’t appreciate what she knows, and dismisses her ideas, shooting them down every time she speaks up.  Same pattern.  Different people.  And no clue.

We’re sitting in this restaurant, and I am dumbfounded by how un-resourceful my friend is.  She doesn’t even ask me, not once, for any insights I might have to share on the subject of difficult people, though I (co)wrote the book on it. Which is fine by me, people have to have their experiences to gain the insights they need to thrive in life.  I just prefer shortcuts, perhaps more than most, and I’d rather learn from your experience instead of putting myself through your lessons and essentially reinventing the wheel.  I nodded my head, asked questions,and pretty much directed traffic the way it was going.  For her the evening got better, because she had a safe place to vent. For me it was an interesting evening, surprising in what it revealed.  And it really got me thinking:  Conflict resolution is a subset of persuasive communication!

Come back next week for the conclusion to this story!   And share your own story below in the comments.

Be well,



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