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How To Respond To People’s Projections

December 9, 2011

Psychological projection is “a psychological defense mechanism where a person subconsciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, usually to other people.

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Negative Person in Texas. “Look, there’s one over there!”

December 7, 2011

I was doing my Difficult People and The Art of Communication program, and had just finished talking about dealing with Yes People. I called on a lady sitting towards the back of the room. She stood up and challenged me.

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A Little Q&A Turns Delegation Into A Decision

December 5, 2011

Him: “Um…that won’t be necessary. This is my decision. I’ll try your approach and we’ll see how it works out. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.”
Her: “Thanks for being flexible.” I’ll be back in a month. It’s good to know that you personally have this situation under control.”

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When They Say It’s Black Or White And It’s NOT!

December 2, 2011

The actionable aspect of information – I’m referring here to goals and plans, formulas and strategies, processes and results – is specific in nature. But some people make a habit of expanding out from the specific to the general.

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It Didn’t Mean What She Thought It Meant!

November 30, 2011

One of my consulting clients, Eliza, worked in a cubicle down the hall from the office of her manager Henry. Every day, she’d walk by his office, smile and say hello. “Hi, Henry.” He’d sneer at her and, in a low and unpleasant voice, say “Hello Eliza.” Then he’d turn away and focus on his work.

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The Cost Of Coercion Is The Loss Of Trust

November 28, 2011

The threat of punishment, of disapproval, of provoking anger may gain compliance in the short term, but in the long term trust is lost and may be difficult, even impossible, to regain. Coercion almost always comes with a high cost. Coercive behavior rules out persuasion.

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Thank You!

November 24, 2011

Grateful in my life, for my life in my town of Ashland, my wife Lindea, my daughter Aden (and her wonderful new husband Paul), my incredible friends (Roman, thank you for an incredible year of mutual support as we rolled out new products and campaigns together in our separate businesses!), my clients, my careers, my abilities, and my health.

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From Necessity to Possibility – Ask The Right Questions

November 23, 2011

In the art of persuasion, context specific modes of operation are what concern us, in that a person expressing limitation invites our interest in going deeper, whereas a person expressing possibility might engage our curiosity about ourselves.

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