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How to Apologize Successfully

June 18, 2008

This continues my last post on apologies. Today I will share my view of the key elements of a successful apology as a part of essential communication skills. If you want to apologize successfully, in order to end conflict and restore a relationship to a positive or neutral condition, you’ve got to overcome your urge […]

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The Power Of Apologies: Victory From The Jaws Of Defeat

June 16, 2008

I was asked recently to comment on the power of apologies. Here are my initial thoughts. In future posts I will talk about the elements of a successful apology and what positive change to expect when providing an apology. An Apology is A Signal  An apology signals the desire to repair or restore a relationship. […]

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Persuasive Communication: Using Transitional Openers

June 13, 2008

Every persuasion interaction has three phases. Phase One is trust building and information gathering. Phase Two is the transition, where you complete listening, and begin the shift to talking. And Phase Three is when you present your persuasion proposition.

But how do you know when you’re done with Phase One and ready for Phase Two? You don’t, so you have to guess.

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Use 7 Signals of Persuasion To Give Big Tobacco the Boot

June 11, 2008

There’s no question that Big Tobacco’s compliance professionals have had their way with these young men. The combination of booze, girls and free product have intense appeal to the emotionally responsive young guy. The only true protection from this manipulation, More…at least until government overcomes the lobbying and does the right thing, banning this horrible substance abuse from the public square, is an individual engaged in critical thinking.

Critical thinking means that you think for yourself. When presented by junk o’logic, like images of guys driving hot cars and going out with hot girls, try real logic to overcome the false imagery. A girl who cares for herself won’t want to kiss a mouth that tastes like an ashtray. And like the one cowboy said to the other as they were riding off into the smoking sunset, “I miss my lung Bob.”

If you’re a young man surrounded by the cloud of try-smoking/keep smoking suggestions, burn through the hype by yourself. You be the antidote – Here are the key questions to counter the signals of persuasion:

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Speak to the Need Part 4

June 9, 2008

I’ve covered the four communication needs, action, accuracy, approval and appreciation, and shared with you how these needs get communicated through the style or structure by which a person speaks. The earlier posts are here: need for action, need for accuracy and need for approval. Today we’ll cover the need for Appreciation

Appreciation = Energy and enthusiasm

The person with a need for appreciation will speak directly and enthusiastically. Using exclamations and personal stories this person works to grab attention and evoke feelings, in order to hold the spotlight of your attention (and by inference, your appreciation for what they have to say.)

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How to Speak to Communication Needs: Blending with Need-Style (Part 3)

June 6, 2008

In a recent post I shared How to Hear What a Person Needs in their Interactions with You: Blending with Need-Style. We talked about how the four communication needs, action, accuracy, approval and appreciation, get communicated through the style or structure by which a person speaks. In your quest for improving your essential communication skills […]

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Dealing with People You Can’t Stand – The Whine-Up and the Pitch

June 4, 2008

We all deal with people we can’t stand everyday, both at work and in families and relationships. In the book I co-authored and in my private practice I have coached people using many successful strategies for conflict resolution. New approaches to converting difficult people situations into positive change and outcomes are always welcome. In that […]

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Learn how to speak lolcat – interactive translator

June 3, 2008

Bit of a random post on a Tuesday morning, but someone sent this to me and I thought it was fun.   Tired of making sense?  Tired of having your words mangled and misunderstood by others?  Then check it out, because… This cool website will translate your words into the Lolcat language = DIS KEWL WEBSIET […]

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